Halloween Horror Nights 18

Halloween Horror Nights 18

Tod Caviness: Halloween! Our favorite holiday. Screaming girls, whirring chainsaws, and no pesky religious overtones to ruin your eggnog with the bitter taste of guilt. Halloween, in fact, is downright pagan. And each year, like the rest of us, Universal Studios dresses up in its sluttiest costume in hopes that you’ll do body shots with her. Really expensive body shots. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Halloween Horror Nights 18.

Paul Hiebing: Because your time is precious and ticket prices add up no matter how many Coke cans you redeem, please join Tod and I as your guides through the most fog-machined place this side of an I-Drive ultra lounge. Monsters! Fake chainsaws! Attractive dismembered people that make you unnervingly horny! Though we’ll tell you which lines to hit and which to shun, you should still tap that Halloween Horror Nights ass, since it’s 18 now and no longer jailbait.