Halloween Horror Nights 18

House 4: Doomsday

PH: Everyone’s favorite post-apocalyptic movie that they didn’t see comes to life in the Doomsday house, which, well, you probably won’t see either. A virus has reduced Scotland to a cannibalistic punk rock heaven, with facepainted warriors sporting middling-to-pathetic efforts at an accent coming after you with pointy things. I see why the movie bombed – you can only encounter so many moshers in Bedazzled denim jackets before you get bored and start counting exit signs. The smell of barbecuing humans was rather delectable, though.

TC: I want to know whose job it was to research the scent of a fried person. Nice job, you sick bastard. Otherwise, give this one a miss. After their all-star movie monster showcase last year, why would Universal pick this middling Road Warrior rip-off to base a house around? I’m puzzled. But it was nice to see the dedication to the film, misguided as it was. They even have the mohawked cannibal leader guy onstage at the end, apparently auditioning for "Doomsday the Broadway Musical." But aside from that mild amusement, I would totally have chewed off Paul’s leg in order to get out of this place.